Find them hidden things.

July 29, 2009 at 3:48 am Leave a comment

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

I confess – I’ve been a wreck. I burst into tears at the slightest things, I feel lost and uninspired, I get fatigue from worship etc.

But now I’m better alhamdulillah. I remember my Ustaz saying how shaytaan just wants us to get lower reward. He’s so dengki like that. For example, for someone who’s struggling to pray the 5 daily prayers, he’d strive to make that person miss one or two prayers. But for someone who is already praying all 5 prayers regularly, he’d make the person delay prayers etc, just so the person would get lesser reward.

And I guess his task with me was to make me kind of.. lose hope in Allah. Being the optimistic bumblebee that I am, I guess his great victory is in making me lose hope. I was feeling all sad for no reason and I actually felt that Allah was “too busy” to be paying attention to me and my little, unimportant life. I told myself that there were worst things happening in the world and He’d probably want to deal with those instead of me and my petty problems.

Astaghfirullahhhh! :((

How wrong, how very wrong I was. How many times has He said that He’s always with us. How many times He said that He hears our prayers, He’s near, He’s with the patient and to never despair of Him.

I totally failed.

But now I know better. He has so much love to give! He has ultimate power over ALL. He can be there for me and for billions of others, AT THE SAME TIME, and that would not take away from His Majesty one bit.

MasyaAllah.. How misguided I was. How could I ever attempt to comfort my own heart when my heart has always been in His control. If I had just submitted and turned to Him from the beginning, I would have never been in this mess.

Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah He sent me amazing friends and amazing people who gave me reminders, who showed me the beauty in every little thing.

I read this from an article recently : “Struggling against the evil that is inherent in all of us, is a battle that is fought on a daily, even hourly basis, and like most wars it is seldom won alone. Allah, through His eternal mercy, has given the believers the most powerful weapon available to assure victory in this constant struggle between good and evil – each other.”

Thank You for the most beautiful of blessings – my companions. May Allah bless all of you always and grant you nearness to Him and never-ending happiness and bless our friendship. I pray Allah helps us to always remember Him FIRST, in good times and bad.

In other news, less than a month to Ramadhan! May Allah help us meet it once again. May He make this month – Syaaban – a most blessed one for us all and help us to prepare for Ramadhan. Amin!

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