First of all, let me begin with this analogy to put things in perspective:
Your friend’s house is on fire. What would you do? Would you take out your phone, key in an sms “Hey, you know what, your house is one fire. Perhaps you’d like to run out?” because you are afraid of disturbing him while he’s in the middle of something? No! You would run in, not caring if he’s busy doing something, and drag him out, even if its against his will. Why? Because his house is on fire and you don’t want him to get hurt!
And the Prophet SAW said, “None of you will attain (perfect) faith until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself”.
What do you love for yourself? Rabbana atina fiddunya hasanah wa fil akhirati hasanah waqina azab an-naar. O Lord, give us goodness in this world and goodness in the next world and save us from the chastisement of Hellfire. You want goodness for yourself in this world and IN THE NEXT WORLD.
Therefore, you would love your brother to have goodness in this world and IN THE NEXT WORLD as well. Right? Right.
So now the issue is this: We are quick to turn a blind eye when our friends are committing sins. No, I know, I know we’re supposed to cover the faults of others and we’re supposed to give excuses for them. “Oh, its their cousin and they’re close and they hug each other all the time”.
“Oh maybe she didn’t know.” “Oh maybe something was in my eye, I didn’t see properly.”
Oh this, oh that. What if its really clear that they’re disobeying Allah and going against the rules of Allah and yet, being their friend, you’re afraid of hurting their feelings and offending them?
Well, let me tell you what I find offensive. Whats going to hurt their feelings is when they are being brought in the court of Allah and being asked “Ya fulan or fulana, you have committed this, this and this. What will you say to defend yourself?” Whats offensive is that they knew you knew that they were sinning and yet you didn’t say anything to remind them or help them. Whats offensive is that while they stand there thinking of an answer, your face is going to come in their minds and they’re going to say with such regret and hatred, “My friend knew I was doing something wrong and she was going to the mosque and going for classes and yet never invited me along. She smiled when I was sinning and smiled when I was going astray and smiled while I was being heedless while she continued praying nawafil and fasting sunnah and not once did she think of whats going to happen to me.”
That, to me, is offensive.
And then someone may say, “Ameera is being so harsh. The Prophet SAW was always gentle and kind and never hurt anyone’s feelings. Love is the way. You’ve gotta to love everyone.” What I’m going to say is, the guy’s house is on fire and I can’t ignore it! The only reason I’m screaming and pulling him out is because I love him!
Love, to me, is wanting the best for the person in the next life too. If he’s sinning, by God, tell him! Don’t just say, okay I’ll go home and pray for him and hopefully he’ll change one day. Yes, of course you go home and pray for him. I’m not underestimating the power of dua. But you gotta tell the guy too man. You can’t just let him go on doing what he’s doing while you go home and dua for him everyday. I don’t think your expression of love is quite right. (Although, okay, I agree that it really depends on the situation. Sometimes saying something is going to make things worst, but sometimes its not.)
Love is making sure he’s making ‘pleasing Allah’ his main priority. Love is making sure he’s doing what Allah tells him to and leaving what Allah tells him to leave. Love is making sure shaytaan is not whispering nonsense and allowing him to listen to shaytaan. Love is making sure he does not sin for the one he loves. Because that is not love.
You can hate me all you want in this life, as long as you don’t hate me in the next life, wishing I had said something but I didn’t.
So here I am screaming: Be conscious of Allah! You are going to be brought in front of Him one day to answer for your actions. If you don’t fear anything or anyone, at least fear Him. At least fear the Last Day. At least fear the Weighing Scale. At least. At least..
And I pray so hard that I am not like the one who is trying to save the friend in the burning house when my own pants are on fire. So I’m telling you, yes all you friends & family that I love & I think love me too: Love me for the sake of Allah. Love me so much that you would hate for me to be in hell. Love me so much that the minute you see me sinning or doing something that Allah wouldn’t be pleased with, you would tell me that very second and not just hope that I would change. Please love me so much that you would advice me and remind me and hurt my feelings in this life but not in the next life please, not in the next life.
Because my whole journey started with a non-believer asking me about my actions. And I will never forget the day I thought of all the friends who were God-fearing and pious but who never said a word to me while I was running towards Hellfire and disobeying Allah in all ways imaginable and yet here, a non-believer put my world into perspective. I never want anyone to think of me and thinking I’m letting them run straight into Hellfire.
No, because I love you more than that. So love me back please.
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