The Ideal Muslimah v.2
This week’s sharing is under the chapter “The Muslim Woman and Her Lord”
“Her main concern is the pleasure of Allah
The true Muslim woman always seeks to earn the pleasure of Allah in everything she does. So she measures everything against this precise standard, and will retain or discard any practice accordingly.
Whenever there is conflict between what pleases Allah, and what pleases other people, she chooses what pleases Allah SWT, with no hesitation or argument, even if it will anger other people. She does this because she knows, with her deep understanding of Islam and her own common sense, that pleasing the people is a goal that can never be achieved, and it will only bring about the wrath of Allah. The Prophet SAW said:
“Whoever seeks the pleasure of Allah at the risk of displeasing the people, Allah will take care of him and protect him from them. But whoever seeks the pleasure of the people at the risk of displeasing Allah, Allah will abandon him to the care of the people.”
By weighing up her deeds in this precise fashion, the Straight Path will be clearly signposted or the Muslim woman. She will know what she is allowed to do & what she should avoid; her unfailing standard is the pleasure of Allah. Thus the life of the Muslim women will be free from ridiculous contradiction which have ensnared so many of those who have deviated from the guidance of Allah.
There are women whom one sees praying perfectly, but in many instances they follow their own desires and deviate from the right path. In social gatherings, they involve themselves in gossip and backbiting, criticising people, plotting against anybody they dislike, and putting words in their mouths so as to discredit them. These people are suffering from weakness of faith & failure to understand the true reality of this holistic religion which Allah SWT revealed to guide mankind in all aspects of life, both public and private, so that people might seek the pleasure of Allah by obeying His commands and emulating the behaviour of the Prophet SAW.
There are also women who obey Allah in some matters, but disobey Him in others, acting according to their own whims & desires. Such people are, as it were, half-Muslims, and the split personality of those who have deviated from the guidance of Islam is one of the most dangerous psychological an spiritual disorders facing modern man. ”
Okay two things I want to talk about for this sharing.
Firstly, “whenever there is conflict between what pleases Allah, and what pleases other people, she chooses what pleases Allah SWT, with no hesitation or argument, even if it will anger other people”. Here, I think I just want to share my experience.
In Ramadhan last year, I was invited to perform qiyamulail at a friend’s house with other ladies. I was excited, I was looking forward to it & I couldn’t wait for the night to arrive to finally do it in jemaah.
Qiyamulail = good thing, pleasing to Allah.
Parents did not allow = angering them is okay because Qiyam is a good thing. Right?
I argued with my parents about this, saying that they have no right to stop me from doing Qiyamulail because its A GOOD THING and blablabla. And then in my disappointment & anger, I left the house. I cried the whole way in the bus realising that I had acted rashly. I realized that so what if qiyamulail is a good thing, pleasing my parents is infinitely more important! I could do qiyam anytime I wanted, I can do it in my home. Heck, it’d be better if I suggested that my family do it together instead of doing it with other ladies.
I think some people might be confused with the hadith. About pleasing Allah and angering others. Because, who are you angering? And on what basis? For my case, its not as if my parents were asking me to do something HARAM. All they asked was that I do it at home. Thats a good thing too. And what makes me think that Allah will accept my ibadah of Qiyam if I had made my parents not redha with me going? No way man. Allah’s Redha lies in my parents’ redha. I cannot stress this enough.
Nothing in this world is more precious than pleasing your parents. Nothing. I’ve been a rebellious teen (yes hard to believe is it? haha). Whatever they did not like me doing, thats exactly what I would do. And then I grew up and alhamdulillah, I realised that it was so tiring. It was tiring to rebel all the time. It was tiring to keep lying. It was tiring to do the opposite of what they asked me to do because there were times I wanted to do what they wanted me to do but because of my stupidity, stubbornness and utter idiocy, I would not. Its a waste of time & energy. Please trust me on this one, I know man. Haha. Just listen to your parents. Its much easier & spiritually healthy that way.
I spent much of my teenage years being angry at my parents for no reason at all. And now I don’t even bother to argue with them because I just do as they tell me. Over time, they see that I’m not rebelling & no longer doing stupid things, they let me do my own things. And alhamdulillah, by this time, what I want & what they want are about the same things. (Of course we still have disagreements over certain things but making your parents happy beats any kind of satisfaction because their blessings in the things you choose to do is of utmost importance.)
Okay I wanted to talk about the second thing, but I’ll save that for the next post because this post feels very long & wordy. InsyaAllah, next post I’ll talk about women who obey Allah in some matters, but disobey Him in others. Till then, take care & have a blessed day. :)