The Ideal Muslimah v.1
I bought the fanstastic book “The Ideal Muslimah” written by al-Fadhil Muhammad Ali al-Hashimi & I think I would select passages to post here every week or so, insyaAllah. It is an amazing guideline because the book is divided into chapters like The Muslim Woman & Her Lord, The Muslim Woman & Her Own Self, The Muslim Woman & Her Parents, The Muslim Woman & Her Husband etc etc.
This week’s sharing is under the Chapter “The Muslim Woman & Her Community/Society”.
“She has a likeable personality
The Muslim woman is keen to be liked by others, through her good deeds & through the positive effect she has on them, as well as by having a good reputation in society.
People’s love for her is a sign that Allah SWT loves her too, because in this case He opens people’s hearts to her & makes her accepted & well-liked by everyone who meets her or hears about her. Concerning this, the Prophet SAW said:
When Allah loves a person, He calls JIbrail AS & says: ‘I love so-and-so, so love him.’ So Jibrail will love him, and will call out in the heavens: ‘Allah loves so-and-so, so love him.’ Then the people of heaven will love him, and he will be well-accepted on earth.
If Allah hates a person, He calls Jibrail & says: ‘I hate so-and-so, so hate him.’ So Jibrail will hate him, and will call out in the heavens: ‘Allah hates so-and-so, so hate him.’ Then the people of heaven will hate him, and he will be despised on earth
-Muslim, 16/184, Kitaab al-Birr was-Silah wal-Aaaab, baab idha ahabba Allah ‘abdan
This is the unseen, divine reason why some Muslim men & women enjoy the love of others towards them. It is the love of Allah which He has spread among the people of heaven & earth, & makes those fortunate people well-accepted on earth, or else His hatred causes them to be despised on earth.
No one can earn the love of Allah except the one who turns to Him seeking His pleasure, and no one earns His hatred except the one who turns away from His guidance & disobeys Him.
The Muslim woman who has the best characteristics and is adhering to the limits set by Allah SWT, doing what He commands and avoiding what He forbids, is the woman who deserves to receive these glad tidings in this world. She deserves to be loved by everyone who knows her or hears of her good deeds, such as tolerance, turning away from the ignorant, responding to evil with good, helping the poor & destitute, wanting the best for others, denying herself, speaking the truth, refraining from talking unnecessarily, being fair in her judgment & treatment of others, avoiding malicious gossip & hurting others, and other righteous attitudes and virtues that Islam encourages and describes as an adornment for the Muslim woman.
Such a woman has truly understood the teachings of her religion; she has earned the love of people in this world and the pleasure of Allah and Paradise in the Hereafter.”
She is friendly & likeable
The sensitive Muslim woman is friendly & likeable. She makes friends with other women & mixes with them, and they in turn like to meet her & make friends with her, because of her gentle, refined, attractive character and good treatment of them. These are the best characteristics that a woman may attain, as they entitle her to mix with other women, earn their trust & have an influence on them. Women will only listen to the one whom they like & trust & feel comfortable with, and they will only be persuaded by a woman who brings with her an attitude of trust, friendship & respect.
Such a person, whether man or woman, is one of those chosen ones who are beloved to the Prophet SAW & will be closest to him on the Day of Judgment:
“Shall I not tell you who among you is most beloved to me and will be closest to me on the Day of Resurrection?” He repeated it three or two times, and they said, “Yes, O Messenger of Allah.” He said, “Those of you who are the best in attitude & character.” Some reports add: “Those who are down to earth & humble, who get along with others & with whom others feel comfortable.”
-Reported with a jayyid isnad by Ahmad, 2/185.
One of the most important attributes of the Muslim woman is that she gets along with others & others feel comfortable with her. She likes people & they like her. If she is not like this, then she will not be able to convey the message or achieve anything of significance. Whoever is like that has no goodness in him, as in the hadith:
“The believer gets along with people and they feel comfortable with him. There is no goodness in the one who does not get along with people & with whom they do not feel comfortable.”
-Ahmad & al-Bazzar, then men of Ahmad’s isnad are rijaal as-saheeh. See Majma’ az-Zawaa’id, 8/87, baab al-mi’min ya’laf wa yu’lif.
The Prophet SAW set the highest example of good behaviour towards people. He was skillful in softening their hearts & called them to follow him in word & deed. He demonstrated how to reach people’s hearts & win their love & admiration. He was always cheerful & easy-going, never harsh. When he came to any gathering, he would sit wherever there was a free space, and he told others to do likewise. He treated everyone equally, so that no one who was present in a gathering would feel that anyone else was receiving preferential treatment. If anyone came to him and asked for something, he would give it to him, or at least respond with kind words. His good attitude extended to everyone & he was like a father to them (BEST NYE!!!! *jealous* haha sempat). The people gathered around him were truly equal, distinguished only by their level of taqwa. They were humble, respecting their elders, showing compassion to young ones, giving priority to those in need, and taking care of strangers.”
Okay I think that should be it for this week. Later if too long, people get bored & won’t read then that defeats the purpose. I will continue again next week insyaAllah.
Anyway, I pray that we all get to emulate these qualities & be a Muslimah that is friendly & likeable so that Allah may love us. And what more could we ask for than His Love right? :)
So anyway, in my attempt to be likeable (haha macam paham), I like to get little gifts or write little notes to my friends. When I met Shivali & Suhaila for dinner few weeks back, I got them each a sunflower. The next day, Suhaila wrote me a Friendster testimonial that went like this:
Posted 05/6/2008 10:59 am
this morning, mother went to my room and saw the sunflower eyes. “siape bagi?” she asked. “ameera,” i replied. “yang bagi u bunga dulu tu?” she asked again. “a’ah.” i answered. “dier jual bunga kaper?” she said. WAHAHAHAHHHA.
HAHAHA I cannot take it okayyy.
Thats it la. My advice for you people is, when you get little gifts for your friends, give a variety & not just flowers! Haha. Its pretty easy to make someone’s day. Just a small note or a card or an sms actually. Try it sometime. If you succeed, alhamdulillah. If you don’t, hey at least you know what not to do next time. Heh.
Pictures from the dinner:
See the length of the stem!! Haha these two girls complain non-stop how they’d be so embarrassed to carry it back. Hello makciks, I carried TWO the whole journey to meet you guys okay! Talk so much.
This is Shivali’s ecstatic face & my attempt at being a ‘refined’ Muslimah & laughing while covering my mouth. (Which I really need lots of practice for hahaha.)
Suhaila darling that I miss so much!
Finally us three. <3
Alright then, this has been a long post & I’m tired of typing haha. Hope it will be of benefit. For guys, sorry ah. I suggest you go buy “The Ideal Muslim” haha. ;) I must give priority to my lovely sisters first mah. May we all help one another in enjoining good & forbidding evil insyaAllah.